Genre: Comedy/Thriller

Think "Shaun of the Dead" meets "The Andy Griffith Show"

Logline: A big-city cop turned small-town sheriff must protect his family and his new home from a demonic, zombie-tossing tornado. It's raining men. Dead men!

Synopsis: Howdy. My name is Cecil Harper. My people been living in Greensome, VA even before there was a Greensome. Harper Hill? Yep, my great, great grandpa was General Harper in the Civil War. He and his men who fought and died during the Battle of Harper Hill are all buried right up there too. At least they was before I stirred things up.

My grandma was a witch. She died in a fire. My pa said some folks think lighting struck her shack 'cuz God was punishing her, but other folk say some of the town folk burned her place down. I don't know and I don't care. All I know is the only thing she left behind was The Book.

Now I don't claim to be much on books. I figure if a man's got commonsense enough to know when to mind his own damn business, he's more than half smart enough already, but there was things in that book that could save this town. Or so I thought when I conjured up a wind demon. Yep, that's what I done. Took The Book out to Harper Hill, said the words, performed the deeds written down there and that's what I got. I figured if the town got wiped out, them yuppie, tofu eating bastards would just move on. We townfolk could rebuild.

That was my first mistake. My second was casting the spell next to a graveyard. Seems when you bring the wind to life, it brings other things to life too. No sooner had the wind started to twist that I could hear the dead crying out. Hundreds of dead folk, going back to the Civil War, got pulled up into that demon tornado. I still have dreams about them zombies twisting, flying all around inside that evil storm.

I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm just glad that city cop turned sheriff was here. Sheriff Flynn kept his head, don't know how. I damn near lost mine when I seen what I'd done. I suppose that pretty stormchaser woman helped him some. Her using her daddy's money to build her that fancy storm chasing truck of hers sure came in handy. The two of them saved this town. Kind of makes me feel bad when I think about it. Two outsiders saved the town from an old townie like me.

Anyway, you want the whole story? Pull up a log, I'll get us a couple of cans.

randy@rcook.com